


Do you want to try?

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Confrontations, Kissing, M/M, Mild Blood, POV First Person, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 11:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: 'Get of off me.''Look,' he started but I was moving again, determined.All of a sudden I freezed. He was hard. He realised it too. He looked at my lips and licked his own.He kissed me.I kissed him back.





	Do you want to try?

Months passed. Summer was approaching.

I couldn't escape him. He was everywhere. I couldn't avoid him even in my own head.

The balls and the dinners. He was at each and every one of them. I never acknowledged his presence. At least not visibly.

The Ministry. He was suddenly there too, roaming the hallways. I wish I wouldn't have to go there. But I was made to. Being Death Eater and all.

The Daily Prophet. It seemed like coverage of his life suddenly increased. I didn't need to know when the Saviour took a dump. So I cancelled the subscription.

He was pissing me off. His admirers were pissing me off. I was pissing myself off. For sparing him any thought whatsoever.

I was adamant about ignoring everything remotely concerning him.

So I didn't see it coming.

I blame Pansy.

 

***

 

I didn't frequent wizard pubs and bars. People knew me. Unlike in muggle establishments.

Pansy dragged me. It was grand opening of Blaise's bar/restaurant/pub. I didn't know what to call it. Its name was Ruin. It had two floors with dozens of rooms, each in different style and purpose.

I had a fall out with Blaise. And basically everyone else from school. Only Pansy remained.

It was awkward. He stiffly shook my hand and gave us drinks.

'It will be fun,' said Pansy. It wasn't. At least for me. She was having fun, not a care in the world.

I was uncomfortable.

So I roamed the rooms.

There was a pink one with fake fish floating near the ceiling and muggle TV in the middle.

There was one entirely filled with plants. I didn't go inside. I heard some moans.

One with water pipes, another with muggle games, different one with just mirrors and bar at the end. There was one with walls made of unicorn hair.

It was too much. But apparently not enough. There were so many people in each of them.

I found myself an empty one with blue light and moving shadows on the wall. I sat on the sofa and watched.

I promised Pansy an hour. And she would know if I would leave early.

I was probably dosing off because when I opened my eyes I wasn't alone anymore.

Right on the sofa next to me sat Potter.

I jumped up. He stood up too.

'God, Malfoy. I wasn't going to kill you, calm down.'

'Well Potter, it _wasn't_ nice seeing you.' I wanted to leave. I did not want to be with him in the same room.

'Can't you honestly not being a brat for a while?' he asked. 'You could try being decent at least.'

'Ignoring you _is_ decent.' He was the stupidest idiot in the world. How could they worship this dumbass?

I started walking. He followed.

'What are you doing?' I turned abruptly. He almost stumbled into me.

'Going out.'

'You are following me.' I accused him. I knew he was.

He was silent for a while.

'Okay, look Malfoy. I feel really bad about all of this,' he motioned between us. 'I tried to apologise but you didn't accept it and it bothers me.'

Potter. Always thinking just about himself. 'And since when does the Saviour of our world need my acceptance?'

He went red in the face. It was anger. 'Jesus christ! Can you stop? I'm trying to say...'

'I don't care about what you want to say,' I stopped him. I could barely restrain myslef from screaming. Of frustration and annoyance. 'Just leave me the fuck alone and don't bother me again!'

I didn't care if Pansy would be mad. I almost ran out of the room. I was becoming infuriatingly angry. Remembering his words, his insults and his rejection. I wouldn't allow him to see me cry. Even if it would be an angry cry.

I got out, ready to dissaparate. As I was turning in place I felt pressure on my arm.

I landed on the grass near the pond at the Manor. And Potter was there.

'You fucking  halfwit! I could've splinched myself!' I stalked to him where he was standing and punched him in a jaw.

I was aiming for another hit. He caught my wrist. So I punched him with my other fist.

He growled and spit out some blood. Disgusting.

I wanted to beat him until no one would recognise him. I wanted to hurt him so he would finally leave me be. Bonus if I killed him. It would get me the Kiss, but I guessed it would be worth it.

He hit me back and it sent me staggering backward.

He was on me in seconds. Pinned me to the ground. I saw his mouth moving, saying something. I didn't hear him. Blood was rushing through my ears, deafening me. I wished I'd never hear his voice again.

'Now listen! This is crazy.' I heard him.

'Because you are fucking crazy!' I screamed in his face. My whole head hurt.

'I don't want it to be like this. Maybe... Do you want to try....'

'You started it! I don't want to have anything to do with you!' I squirmed under him. I wanted to get free.

'Shut up!' He yelled. I stopped moving.

He was breathing hard. His hands on my wrists. One near my head, the other one bend at the elbow next to my ribs.

'Get of off me.' I found my voice. At last.

'Look,' he started but I was moving again, determined.

All of a sudden I freezed. He was hard. He realised it too. I thought it was just adrenaline. But he looked at my lips and licked his own.

And then out of nowhere he kissed me. I could taste his blood.

I kissed him back. As twisted as it was.

He let go of my wrist. 

I finally realised what I was doing.

I put my hand on his neck and pushed him closer. He grunted when I bit his lip.

'Is this what you wanted all along?' I whispered. I moved my hand between us and put it on him. His breath caught. 'To fuck?' I started moving my hand. He pushed into it. 'Because I will.' I kissed him. 'As long as you stop bothering me afterwards.'

He freezed. 'What?'

My hand was still moving on him. 'I can't stand you, but if this is what it takes to be rid of you, I'm willing.'

He stared at me for a second and then he was on his feet. 'What the fuck?'

I reclined on my elbows and spread my legs. 'So?' I smirked.

He shook his head and put his hands in his hair. 'God you're sick.' He murmured. I didn't know to whom he was reffering. Me for suggesting it or him for wanting it.

He looked at me and took a step forward. He jerked. And then dissapeared.

I was relieved. I didn't know what I'd do if he stayed. I wanted to fuck with that noble head of his. I wouldn't go through with it.

 

***

 

I've never despised myself more. I was disgusted by the things I did, what I said. I despised I liked it. I despised him for coming. I despised him for leaving. I despised  what he did. I despised my body. I despised my life.

He was there, in my head. I was scared it was permanent.

Even when I lied in bed that night I thought of him.

I could still feel his blood on my tongue.

 


End file.
